Though I was shameless enough to simply stare at the screen long enough, while struggling to come up with a decent opening line for this post, it kinda justifies the title or the topic itself. I don't know how many of you have felt the pinch of being at loss of words at times when you had so much to express, but I for one have been there.
I have always struggled with words, regardless of the language! More often than not, I struggle hard to come up with the right words to use at the right times. Though (fortunately) my words have been seldom misconstrued, what disappoints me in myself is my inability to have a strong command over my languages, but moreover it's my stunted vocabulary that steals the show!
Naturally, it's my speech impairment I'm more worried about than my writing "abilities". When it comes to writing, I always have an option of verifying the definiteness of my sentences(doesn't necessarily mean I always exploit that one). But as I said, I really need to improve my speech.
I always end up saying the same shit over and over again, may be modified slightly to suit the situation or the place or the people around me. But that's about frickin' IT!!! I'm really fed up of the awesomes , the too goods, the oh my gods, the what thes, the excellents, the kya shots, the bekkaars, the bakwaass, the haalat kharaabs, the she's so hots, the basicallys, the at the ends, the after alls, the bhaaris, the but the thing iss, the ijjat ses, the oh oks, the obviouslys, the khatarnaaks, the seriouslys, the totallys, the exactlys and I don't know what else. I always hated studying languages when in school. But it is now that I realise how important communication is. I hate reading novels while I expect people to read my blogs. What do you say.....umm... yes...hypocrite! I know novels and good books help you improve your language. But I don't have that kind of patience to go through 400 pages of polished English or any other language, and keep on searching for the meaning of every other word. That way I'll end up finishing the dictionary before the book itself.
Whatever be the reason, I am the one who is paying the price as of now and don't know for how much longer.
I had so much to write, and yet I feel disappointed at the end of this post. I feel I haven't been crisp enough. I hope I'll be able to do justice to my feelings one day.
25th december, 2007.